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Jokes About Doctors - Page 2 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Want to laugh? Look no further! Our doctor jokes, and stories will crack you up. We've selected the funniest and most engaging content so you can relax and laugh. Our assortment offers cheeky one-liners and tales for everyone.
This is page 2 of 19. Showing jokes 13 to 24
The doctor said, 'Quick, get some boiling water!'
I said, 'Is the baby coming?'
He said, 'No, the nurse is making coffee.'
I said, 'Is the baby coming?'
He said, 'No, the nurse is making coffee.'
The doctor told me I needed an operation. I said, 'I want a second opinion.' He said, 'OK, you're also overweight.'
We've decided to postpone your operation until you're stronger - financially.
Why is it that you can never read the doctor's prescriptions, but the bills are always legible?
Doctor, Doctor, I keep seeing pink elephants.
Have you seen a psychiatrist?
No - only pink elephants.
Have you seen a psychiatrist?
No - only pink elephants.
Doctor to Patient: Do you want good or bad news first?
Patient: The good news, please.
Doctor: The good news is that you have only twenty-four hours to live.
Patient: If that's the good news, what's the bad news?
Doctor: I should have told you yesterday.
Patient: The good news, please.
Doctor: The good news is that you have only twenty-four hours to live.
Patient: If that's the good news, what's the bad news?
Doctor: I should have told you yesterday.
My dad went to the doctor. He said, 'I think I'm an elastic band.'
The doctor said, 'Stretch yourself out on the couch.'
The doctor said, 'Stretch yourself out on the couch.'
The doctor said to this chap, 'I'm afraid you've only got five minutes left to live.'
The chap said, 'Doctor, that's terrible. What can you do for me?'
The doctor said, 'I'll boil you an egg if you like.'
The chap said, 'Doctor, that's terrible. What can you do for me?'
The doctor said, 'I'll boil you an egg if you like.'
This woman went to the doctor. She said, 'Doctor, my husband thinks he's a cat.'
The doctor said, 'How do you know that?'
She answered, 'Well, every night when I go to bed, there's this dreadful howling outside the window.
The doctor said, 'Yes, but are you sure that that's your husband?'
She said, 'Well, a cat wouldn't use language like that.'
The doctor said, 'How do you know that?'
She answered, 'Well, every night when I go to bed, there's this dreadful howling outside the window.
The doctor said, 'Yes, but are you sure that that's your husband?'
She said, 'Well, a cat wouldn't use language like that.'
This man went to the doctor. He said, 'Doctor, my nose runs, and my feet smell.'
The doctor said, 'You're built upside down.'
The doctor said, 'You're built upside down.'
Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pack of cards.
Just sit there, and I'll deal with you in a minute.
Just sit there, and I'll deal with you in a minute.
Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a sheep.
Really? And how do you feel about that?
Very baaaaaaad.
Really? And how do you feel about that?
Very baaaaaaad.