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Jokes About Doctors - Page 10 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about doctors.

This is page 10 of 19. Showing jokes 109 to 120

Patient: Doctor, I feel very ill. I think that I ate too many oysters last night.
Doctor: Were the oysters fresh?
Patient: I don't know if they were fresh or not.
Doctor: What did they look like when you opened them?
Patient: You mean you have to open them?

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I can see into the future.
Doctor: And when did this happen?
Patient: Next Wednesday.

An accountant has trouble sleeping at night, so he visits his doctor. 'Doctor, I just can't seem to fall asleep at night.'
'Have you tried counting sheep?'
' That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend the next three hours trying to find it.'

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I'm developing a split personality.
Doctor: Well, sit down, both of you.

Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I'm boiling up.
Doctor: Why don't you just simmer down?

Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing an insect spinning in front of my eyes.
Don't worry, it's just a bug that's going round.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a car.
Doctor: I would recommend you to take a brake.

Doctor, doctor, I can't stop sneezing - is there anything you can give me?
How about a tissue?

Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks that she's a clock.
I suspect you've just been trying to wind her up.

Doctor: Nurse, I'm ready to see the next patient now. Can you send her in?
Nurse: Sorry, she didn't look very well, so I sent her home.

When are doctors just like comedians?
When they have you in stitches.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bee.
Buzz off. Can't you see that I'm busy?

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