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Jokes About Doctors - Page 11 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about doctors.
This is page 11 of 19. Showing jokes 121 to 132
An elderly man was lying on the operating table awaiting surgery, and he demanded that his son, a renowned surgeon, should do the operation. As he was about to go under the anaesthetic, he asked to speak to his son.
' Yes, Dad, what is it?'
' Now, don't be nervous, son, just do your best and remember, if it doesn't go well and something happens to me ..your mother is going to come and stay with you and your wife.'
' Yes, Dad, what is it?'
' Now, don't be nervous, son, just do your best and remember, if it doesn't go well and something happens to me ..your mother is going to come and stay with you and your wife.'
Patient: Doctor, I'm boiling up.
Doctor: Just try to simmer down, will you?
Doctor: Just try to simmer down, will you?
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread.
Doctor: You need to stop loafing around.
Doctor: You need to stop loafing around.
The Doctor received a frantic phone call from Mr. Jones, who explained that his wife, who always slept with her mouth open, had a mouse stuck in her throat.
'Don't worry, I'll be there in a few minutes,' answered the doctor. 'In the meantime, wave a piece of cheese in front of her mouth.'
When the doctor arrived, he saw Mr Jones was waving a large fish in front of his wife's face.
'What on earth are you doing?' exclaimed the doctor.
' I told you to wave cheese. Mice don't like fish.'
' I know,' Mr Jones gasped, 'but I have to get the cat out first.
'Don't worry, I'll be there in a few minutes,' answered the doctor. 'In the meantime, wave a piece of cheese in front of her mouth.'
When the doctor arrived, he saw Mr Jones was waving a large fish in front of his wife's face.
'What on earth are you doing?' exclaimed the doctor.
' I told you to wave cheese. Mice don't like fish.'
' I know,' Mr Jones gasped, 'but I have to get the cat out first.
George: 'Do you know what Dr Williams's specializes in?'
Tom: Yeah, he diagnoses wallets.'
Tom: Yeah, he diagnoses wallets.'
Patient: I'm leaving if the doctor can't see me immediately.
Nurse: Calm yourself down. What's wrong with you?
Patient: I have a serious wait problem.
Nurse: Calm yourself down. What's wrong with you?
Patient: I have a serious wait problem.
Patient: Doctor, you must help me; I've gone crazy about cricket.
Doctor: How's that?
Patient: Not out!
Doctor: How's that?
Patient: Not out!
Fred visits an eye doctor. The receptionist asks him what the problem is. Fred says, 'I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.'
The receptionist asks, 'Have you ever seen a doctor?'
Fred replies, 'No, just spots.'
The receptionist asks, 'Have you ever seen a doctor?'
Fred replies, 'No, just spots.'
Patient: Doctor, I keep seeing double.
Doctor: Please sit on the couch.
Patient: Which one?
Doctor: Please sit on the couch.
Patient: Which one?
Patient: Doctor, I've just swallowed a spoon.
Doctor: Sit down and don't stir yourself.
Doctor: Sit down and don't stir yourself.
Patient: I feel like a sheet of music.
Doctor: Please wait a minute while I review your notes.
Doctor: Please wait a minute while I review your notes.
Patient: I think I'm turning into a baby cat.
Doctor: I think your just kitten me.
Doctor: I think your just kitten me.