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Jokes About Doctors - Page 17 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about doctors.
This is page 17 of 19. Showing jokes 193 to 204
A man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles". So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history, and told him to wait in an examining room. A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said "Shingles." So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." The doctor said, "Where?"
He said, "Outside on my delivery truck. Where do you want them?"
He said, "Outside on my delivery truck. Where do you want them?"
Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a telephone.
Well, take these pills and if you don't get any better give me a ring.
Well, take these pills and if you don't get any better give me a ring.
Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a terrible pain.
Why is that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.
Why is that?
My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it.
Doctor, doctor, I've got a little stye.
Then you'd better buy a little pig for it.
Then you'd better buy a little pig for it.
Doctor, doctor, I keep having hot flushes.
You don't need a doctor, it's a plumber you need.
You don't need a doctor, it's a plumber you need.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a mountain.
Well you do look a little peaky.
Well you do look a little peaky.
Doctor: "Come in Joe and take a seat. It's a long time since I've seen you here.
Joe: "I know doctor. It's because I've been ill."
Joe: "I know doctor. It's because I've been ill."
Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a rubber band?
You need to snap out of it.
You need to snap out of it.
Doctor, Doctor, my brother thinks that he is an elevator.
Well tell him to come in to see me.
He can't. He doesn't stop at this floor.
Well tell him to come in to see me.
He can't. He doesn't stop at this floor.
Doctor, doctor, will I ever get better?
At what?
At what?
Patient: Doctor, people keep ignoring me. It's almost as if I don't exist.
Doctor: Next patient please.
Doctor: Next patient please.
Doctor: Before coming to see me have you asked anyone else about your condition?
Patient: Yes I spoke with Doctor Brown.
Doctor: And what did that incompetent old fool tell you to do?
Patient: He suggested I come and see you.
Patient: Yes I spoke with Doctor Brown.
Doctor: And what did that incompetent old fool tell you to do?
Patient: He suggested I come and see you.