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Jokes About Psychiatrists - 21 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Check out this collection of jokes and funny stories that give a lighthearted glimpse into the world of psychiatrists, their patients, and the crazy situations that happen in their offices. There are 21 jokes in this category.
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Danny: My year of psychoanalysis was a complete failure!
Sandy: Aren't you cured?
Danny: That depends on what you call a cure. A year ago, I was Julius Caesar; now, I'm a nobody.
Sandy: Aren't you cured?
Danny: That depends on what you call a cure. A year ago, I was Julius Caesar; now, I'm a nobody.
According to psychiatrists, one in every four people suffers from a mental illness. Check out three pals. If they are okay, you are it.
My psychiatrist told me I was going crazy. I told him, 'If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion. 'He said, 'Alright .. you're ugly too.'
A psychiatrist is a professional who will charge you a lot of money for answers that your husband or wife will give you for nothing.
A woman visited a psychiatrist and said to him. 'I need to ask you about my husband. He believes he's a refrigerator.'
'Well, that's nothing to be concerned about,' said the psychiatrist. 'I would say that's quite a relatively harmless obsession.'
The woman said, "Yes, but the problem is that the little light keeps me awake at night because he sleeps with his mouth open."
'Well, that's nothing to be concerned about,' said the psychiatrist. 'I would say that's quite a relatively harmless obsession.'
The woman said, "Yes, but the problem is that the little light keeps me awake at night because he sleeps with his mouth open."
One psychiatrist meets another on the street. He says, 'You're fine, how am I?'.
Why go to a psychiatrist when you can stay at home and talk to the ceiling for free?
Why did the airline pilot go to see a psychiatrist?
He thought that he was plane crazy.
He thought that he was plane crazy.
In a psychiatrist's waiting room, two patients are engaged in a friendly conversation. One asks the other, 'What brings you here?'
The second answers, 'I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.'
The first is curious and asks, 'How do you know that you're Napoleon?'
The second responds, 'God told me I was.'
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, 'NO I DIDN'T!'
The second answers, 'I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.'
The first is curious and asks, 'How do you know that you're Napoleon?'
The second responds, 'God told me I was.'
At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, 'NO I DIDN'T!'
Please kiss me twice; I'm schizophrenic.
After making the new patient feel at ease on the couch, the therapist started the therapy. "I don't know what your problem is," the doctor said. "Maybe you should start from the beginning," he said.
The patient said, "Of course." "Before anything else, I made the Heavens and the Earth..."
The patient said, "Of course." "Before anything else, I made the Heavens and the Earth..."
The psychiatrist was surprised to see a tortoise come into his office.
'What can I do for you?' asked the psychiatrist?'
'I'm terribly shy,' said the tortoise, 'I want you to cure me of that.'
'No problem. I'll soon have you out of your shell.'
'What can I do for you?' asked the psychiatrist?'
'I'm terribly shy,' said the tortoise, 'I want you to cure me of that.'
'No problem. I'll soon have you out of your shell.'