Jokes About Psychiatrists - Page 1

Did you hear what happened when a car mechanic went to see a psychiatrist?
He lay down under the couch.

The psychiatrist was surprised to see a tortoise come into his office.
"What can I do for you?" asked the psychiatrist?"
"I'm terribly shy," said the tortoise, "I want you to cure me of that".
"No problem. I'll soon have you out of your shell."

When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session, "I'm not aware of your problem," the doctor said. "So perhaps, you should start at the very beginning."
"Of course." replied the patient. "In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth..."

Why did the airline pilot go to see a psychiatrist?
He thought that he was plane crazy.

Why go to a psychiatrist when you can stay at home and talk to the ceiling for free.

One psychiatrist meets another on the street. He says, "You're fine, how am I?".

A woman went to a psychatrist and said to him. 'I want to ask you about my husband. He thinks he's a refrigerator.'
'Well thats nothing to worry about,' said the psychiatrist. 'I would say that's quite a harmless obsession.'
'Yes, but the thing is,' said the woman, 'he sleeps with his mouth open and the little light keeps me awake at night.'

A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.

My physchiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him "If you don't mind I'd like a second opion. "He said "Alright .. you're ugly too."

Psychiatrists say that one out of four people are mentally ill. Check three friends. If they're OK, you're it.