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Jokes About Doctors - Page 18 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about doctors.
This is page 18 of 19. Showing jokes 205 to 216
Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a witch.
Well, you'd better lie down for a spell.
Well, you'd better lie down for a spell.
Doctor, doctor, I feel really funny.
Well, why don't you tell me a joke, I could do with a laugh.
Well, why don't you tell me a joke, I could do with a laugh.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: I can't stop myself eating dates.
Doctor: That's not really a problem.
Patient: Yes it is, I've run out of calendars.
Patient: I can't stop myself eating dates.
Doctor: That's not really a problem.
Patient: Yes it is, I've run out of calendars.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Last week I swallowed a clock.
Doctor: Why didn't come to see me at once?
Patient: I didn't want to alarm anyone.
Patient: Last week I swallowed a clock.
Doctor: Why didn't come to see me at once?
Patient: I didn't want to alarm anyone.
Doctor, doctor, my wife keeps thinking that she is a piano.
How does she feel?
Grand.
How does she feel?
Grand.
Patient: Doctor, if I take these pills will I get better?
Doctor: Well, nobody I have given them to has ever come back.
Doctor: Well, nobody I have given them to has ever come back.
Doctor: I'm afraid I've got some bad news and I've got some really bad news.
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Well, you only have about twenty-four hours to live I'm afraid.
Patient: That's terrible, so what's the really bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
Patient: Give me the bad news first.
Doctor: Well, you only have about twenty-four hours to live I'm afraid.
Patient: That's terrible, so what's the really bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
Patient: Doctor, doctor, I just can't stop eating cheese and biscuits.
Doctor: You must be crackers.
Doctor: You must be crackers.
Patient: Doctor, I have trouble getting to sleep.
Doctor: Well try sitting on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
Doctor: Well try sitting on the edge of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
Patient: Doctor, doctor. You've got to help me! My hands just won't stop shaking.
Doctor: Do you drink a lot of coffee?
Patient: No, I don't drink very much, I spill most of it.
Doctor: Do you drink a lot of coffee?
Patient: No, I don't drink very much, I spill most of it.
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a pig.
Don't worry, I will soon cure you.
Don't worry, I will soon cure you.
Why is it that doctors call what they do a "practice"?