Jokes About Doctors - Page 16 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories

'Young man, you owe your fine recovery to your wife's tender care.'
'Thank you, doctor. I will make out the check to my wife.'

George: How did they find out that the doctor was a fake?
John: They could read his prescriptions.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a banana.
Well, slip over there and peel your clothes off.

Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pipe sticking out of the back of a car.
I thought you looked a bit exhausted.

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a book.
Doctor: Well, sit down here and tell me the story.

Doctor, doctor, my wife thinks she's a swallow.
Well tell her to come and see me.
I can't, she's already flown south for the winter.

A doctor sent a bill to one of his patients. Underneath the bill he wrote: "This bill is now one year old."
Back came the reply: "Happy Birthday!"

Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a yo-yo.
How do you feel?
A bit up and down.

A man went in to his doctor complaining that he was very short sighted. The doctor took him outside and pointed to the sky, "what can you see?" asked the doctor, "the sun" replied the man. "Well how far do you want to see?" the doctor replied.

An old lady, who lived on the third floor of a boardinghouse fell and broke her leg. After the doctor put a cast on it, he warned her not to climb any stairs. Several weeks later, the doctor took off the cast.
"Can I climb stairs now?" asked the little old lady. "Yes," he replied.
"Thank goodness!" she said. "I'm sick and tired of shinnying up and down that drainpipe!"

Doctor, doctor, what can you give me for a sore throat?
Nothing, I don't want one.

A man walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat. Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles". So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history, and told him to wait in an examining room. A half hour later a nurse came in and asked him what he had. He said "Shingles." So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor. An hour later the doctor came in and asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." The doctor said, "Where?"
He said, "Outside on my delivery truck. Where do you want them?"