Jokes About Doctors - Page 14

Last summer a doctor and his family were at the beach having a good time. All of a sudden the doctor spotted a dorsal fin sticking out of the water and fainted. When he came to, his wife said, "You have to be less paranoid, dear. That was only a shark. Stop imagining that there are lawyers every- where."

My brother went to the doctor. He said, 'Doctor you'll never believe this but last week I went glass blowing and instead of blowing out I breathed in.'
The doctor said, 'Don't tell me, you've got a pane in your stomach.'

This girl went to the doctor. She said, 'I keep thinking there's two of me.
The doctor said, just wait and 'I'll deal with you one at a time.'

The man said, 'That girl over there thinks she's a tonsil.'
My brother said, 'Well she's very nicely dressed.'
The man said, 'You bet. She thinks the doctor's taking her out tonight.'

My mum went rushing to the doctor in a panic. She said, 'Doctor my little girl's swallowed my pen.'
The doctor said,' 'Don't worry you can borrow mine.'

My mum was in hospital, and the doctor said, 'Listen, I want you to drink a Guinness after your bath every day.'
My mum said, 'If I drink my bath I won't have room for a Guinness.'

My brother went to the doctor. He said, 'I feel like a bar of soap.
The doctor said, 'That's life, boy.'

My mum said, 'Doctor, give me something for my kidneys.'
The doctor said, 'How about a few rashers of bacon?'

The doctor said, 'Is your cough better now?'
My brother said, 'Oh yes much better. I've been practicing for weeks.'

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.
Who said that?