Jokes About Doctors - Page 3

Doctor, Doctor, I've just swallowed a clock!
Don't worry - there's no cause for alarm.

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a goat.
And how long has this been going on?
Oh, ever since I was a kid.

The doctor said, 'Is your cough better now?'
My brother said, 'Oh yes, much better. I've been practising for weeks.'

My mum said, 'Doctor, give me something for my kidneys.'
The doctor said, 'How about a few rashers of bacon?'

My brother went to the doctor. He said, 'I feel like a bar of soap.
The doctor said, 'That's life, boy.'

My mum was in hospital, and the doctor said, 'Listen, I want you to drink a Guinness after your bath every day.'
My mum said, 'If I drink my bath, I won't have room for a Guinness.'

My mum went rushing to the doctor in a panic. She said, 'Doctor, my little girl's swallowed my pen.'
The doctor said,' 'Don't worry, you can borrow mine.'

The man said, 'That girl over there thinks she's a tonsil.'
My brother said, 'Well, she's very nicely dressed.'
The man said, 'You bet. She thinks the doctor's taking her out tonight.'

This girl went to the doctor. She said, 'I keep thinking there's two of me.
The doctor said, just wait, and 'I'll deal with you one at a time.'