Jokes About Doctors - Page 3

How do you get your revenge on a doctor?
Give him a taste of his own medicine.

Billy: I went to the eye doctor because I was seeing spots in front of my eyes. He gave me glasses.
Paul: Did the glasses help?
Billy: They did, I can see the spots much more clearly now.

Patient: Doctor, what is the best way to prevent diseases which are caused by biting insects?
Doctor: Don't bite any.

Patient: I Think I've got amnesia.
Doctor: Okay, then I will ask for my fee in advance.

Doctor, Doctor I feel like a dog.
Sit!

Did you hear about the man who went to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head?
The doctor gave him some cream to put on it.

Patient: Please help me Doctor. Whenever I look at my dog I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.
Doctor: Relax. Your dog is a Dalmatian.

Patient: Doctor, I'm feeling really nervous! This is the first I've had an operation.
Doctor: I know just how you feel. You're my first patient!

Patient: Doctor, what is the best thing to do when you hear ringing your ear?
Doctor: Answer it.

Patient: I have a splinter in my finger.
Doctor: Well, that's what you get for scratching your head.