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Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 9

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories without a category of their own.

This is page 9 of 18. Showing jokes 81 to 90

Miscellaneous Jokes
'Hi Bob, Where have you been?'
'The cemetery.'
'Oh! Who's dead?'
'They all are.'
Miscellaneous Jokes
Dad, there's someone at the door collecting for the old folks home. Shall I give him grandma?
Miscellaneous Jokes
How do we know that Rome was built at night?
Because all the books say it wasn't built in a day!
Miscellaneous Jokes
There was 3 men on a plane, a Scotsman, an Irish man and a Chinese man. They was flying over Ireland and the Irish man said I see Ireland, and then they flew over Scotland and the Scotsman said I see Scotland. Then they was going through a storm and the Chinese man went to the cafeteria in the back and he dropped a plate on the floor and said I see china.
Submitted by: Sam
Miscellaneous Jokes
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it.
Miscellaneous Jokes
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
Miscellaneous Jokes
To err is human, to moo bovine.
Miscellaneous Jokes
You know it's going to be a bad day when you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and there aren't any.
Miscellaneous Jokes
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.
The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both are wearing sunglasses.
At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.
The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.
Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.
When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we aren't going to know when to take off!"
Miscellaneous Jokes
Two men went bear hunting. While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.
He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step. Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"

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