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Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 17 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are more of our jokes and funny stories without a category of their own.
This is page 17 of 23. Showing jokes 193 to 204
Who can tell people Where to get off and get away with it?
A bus driver.
A bus driver.
David: What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Billy: Polish them.
Billy: Polish them.
A pair of Martians landed on a country road on Earth in the middle of the night.
'Where are we?' one Martian asked.
'I think we're in a graveyard,' replied the other, 'Look at the gravestone over there - that man lived to be 108.'
'What's his name?'
'Miles from Omaha.'
'Where are we?' one Martian asked.
'I think we're in a graveyard,' replied the other, 'Look at the gravestone over there - that man lived to be 108.'
'What's his name?'
'Miles from Omaha.'
When you send a lazergram, don't forget the Zap code.
I never get lost - everyone tells me where to go.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?
Defendant: No, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?
Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a lot better than the penalty for murder.
Defendant: No, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?
Defendant: Yes, I do. And they're a lot better than the penalty for murder.
I don't think crazy paving is all that it's cracked up to be.
If yesterday was today - today would be yesterday.
I want to buy a truckload of goose feathers, but I can't afford the down payment.
What go up when the rain comes down?
Umbrellas.
Umbrellas.
What does Luke Skywalker use when he wants a shave?
A laser blade.
A laser blade.