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Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 17
Here are more of our jokes and funny stories without a category of their own.
This is page 17 of 23. Showing jokes 193 to 204
The new maid was the slowest thing on two feet. It took her three times as long as anyone else to do anything. One day, the boss of the house reached her boiling point. 'You're worse than a snail,' she screamed.
'Tell me, Mary, is there anything you can do quickly?'
Mary thought for a moment and then replied, 'Get tired.'
'Tell me, Mary, is there anything you can do quickly?'
Mary thought for a moment and then replied, 'Get tired.'
What was the invisible man scared of?
His own shadow.
His own shadow.
Where do fortune tellers dance?
At the crystal ball!
At the crystal ball!
My uncle is a man of letters. He works for the post office.
The price of duck feathers has just been increased.
This means that now even down is up.
This means that now even down is up.
Where do gnomes go to to get fit?
To an elf farm.
To an elf farm.
Who can tell people Where to get off and get away with it?
A bus driver.
A bus driver.
David: What would you do if you were in my shoes?
Billy: Polish them.
Billy: Polish them.
A pair of Martians landed on a country road on Earth in the middle of the night.
'Where are we?' one Martian asked.
'I think we're in a graveyard,' replied the other, 'Look at the gravestone over there - that man lived to be 108.'
'What's his name?'
'Miles from Omaha.'
'Where are we?' one Martian asked.
'I think we're in a graveyard,' replied the other, 'Look at the gravestone over there - that man lived to be 108.'
'What's his name?'
'Miles from Omaha.'
When you send a lazergram, don't forget the Zap code.
I never get lost - everyone tells me where to go.
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.