He is not a liar; he just arranges the truth in his favor.
He took the bus home after work, but his mother made him take it back.
Home is where you can say anything you like because nobody pays any attention to you anyway.
I heard they shot the information clerk at the bus terminal. He knew too much.
I used to be an old newspaperman. But I had to give it up. I couldn't make any money selling old newspapers.
I was born on the first of the month, so they called me 'Bill.'
If you can't laugh at the jokes of this age, laugh at the age of these jokes.
Just when your children get old enough, you can say you can stand them, but they can't stand you.
My barber is an authority on everything except how to cut hair.
My life is so uneventful that I must count sheep to stay awake.
My neighbors are keeping me broke. They are always buying things I can't afford.
No matter how you move it, writing paper remains stationary.