Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 11 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories without a category of their own.

This is page 11 of 23. Showing jokes 121 to 132

Heard on Noah's ark: Sailing is fun, but scrubbing the decks is aardvark.

It is better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.

Two atoms are sitting next to each other and one says, 'I lost an electron.'
The other asks, 'Are you sure?'
'Yeah,' the first replies. 'I'm positive.'

Two boys went out duck hunting for the first time. They were out in the cold morning for hours, and though ducks were everywhere, they hadn't been able to get even one. Finally, one boy says to the other, 'Maybe we ought to give this up.' The other replies, 'Naw, let's give it a while longer.'
'C'mon, let's face it, we just ain't duck hunters.'
'Well, let's keep trying. Maybe we're just not throwing the dogs up high enough.'

Max told his friend he didn't want to go for a hike in the hills.
'I'm an anti-climb Max.'

An Uncle died and left several hundred clocks to a niece; she's busy winding up the estate.

A prospector marched into an assayer's office and planted two huge gold nuggets on the counter. 'Well, don't just stand there, assay something!'

Indian Chief Shortcake died, so squaw bury Shortcake.

Dracula met Frankenstein in the street one day. Dracula says to Frankie, 'You know, you're better than all my friends put together.......Come to think of it, you ARE all my friends put together!'

Why were the Indians the first people in America?
They had reservations.

Two contestants on a TV game show were in the final round. Mr. Cohn was way ahead of Mr. Schine, but just as the buzzer was rung, Schine slipped ahead and won! When asked what prize he wanted, he stated that he wanted a horse. The game show host asked why and was told: I want a horse so I can name it 'Harvest Moon.' Then I can have a portrait painted and call it 'Schine on Harvest Moon.'

I'm so homesick.
But this is your home.
I know, and I'm sick of it.

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