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Miscellaneous Jokes - Page 2 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories

Get ready for a great time with our funny jokes and stories! They don't fit into specific categories, but they're sure to make you laugh.

This is page 2 of 22. Showing jokes 13 to 24

We received an invitation to a celebration of an anniversary. "When you enter the building, just use your elbow to push the button for the eighth floor," the hostess said.
"Why my elbow?" I enquired.
The friend said, "Well, you're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
With a key chain, you can misplace all of your keys at once instead of one at a time.
What Sort of cheese is made backward?
Edam.
It was late one night, and Tarzan finally came home to his tree house. Jane welcomed him home and then asked what he wanted.
Make me a dry martini, Jane,' said Tarzan.
So Jane made him one. Tarzan drank it down thirstily and then asked for another one. This went on until Tarzan had drunk five dry martinis. When he asked for another one, Jane remarked: 'But, Tarzan, you've already had five. Why do you want another one?'
'You don't know what it's like, Jane,' said Tarzan. 'It's like a jungle out there!'
He's leaving Friday.
Who is?
Robinson Crusoe.
Anne Boleyn went up to heaven with her head under her arm. St Peter said, 'How are you, my dear? It must've been a terrible day.'
She said, 'I'll say. I've got a splitting headache.'
Emperor Nero called in his entertainment manager. He said, 'Nutticus, you've done very well. You've got me some very tasty-looking Christians and some very hungry-looking lions. Well done.
Nutticus said, 'Thank you, your majesty.' Nero said, 'There's just one problem, however.
Nutticus said, 'What's that?'
Nero said, 'How are you going to stop the hooligans running onto the field?'
King Henry VIII went to heaven. St Peter said, 'Tell me, why did you have so many different wives?'
Henry said, 'I like to' chop and change.'
One caveman said to the other, 'What's that big thing with the long neck writing Jane Eyre?'
The other one said, 'That's Bronte-Saurus.'
This man was going to be hung. There he was, standing on the trap door with the rope around his neck, when in comes a warder with a letter. The prison governor says, 'Stop everything; I want to read this.' And he opens the letter. And he read it. And he laughs. And he laughs, and he laughs, and he laughs. And there's the prisoner standing there on the trap door, and he doesn't know what's going on. He says, 'Tell me, have I got a reprieve?'
The governor says, 'No, you've just won a million dollars on the lottery.'
I was staying with my uncle. One day, he came in and said, 'One of the chickens has just died. We'll have roast chicken for dinner.' I said, 'Lovely.'
The next day, he came in and said, 'One of the pigs has just died. We'll have roast pork for dinner.'
I said,'Lovely'.
One of the ducks died the next day. He said, 'We'll have roast duck for dinner.'
I said, 'Lovely.'
Then the next day, he came down all dressed in black.
He said, 'Your auntie's just died.'
I said, 'Don't worry. I'm not stopping for dinner.'
My brother went to three parties. At the first party, he broke his arm; at the second party, he broke his leg; and after that, he got Third Party Insurance.

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