Jokes About Marriage - Page 1

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job: he still has the same boss.

Husband: Did you marry me just because my father died and left me a fortune?
Wife: No, I would have married you whoever left you a fortune.

What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.

Why a man would want to marry one wife is a mystery.
Marrying two is a bigamystery.

A policeman pulls over an old man driving on the freeway and said "Mister, did you know your wife fell out of the car half a mile back?"
The old man said, "Thank god for that, for a moment there, I thought I was going deaf!"

"I haven't spoken to my wife for almost 25 years."
"Why not?"
"She doesn't like being interrupted."

Jill: When are you thinking about getting married?
Jean: Constantly.

Mary: I've been asked to get married lots of times.
Jane: Who asked you?
Mary: My parents.

Their marriage is based on trust and understanding.
She doesn't trust him, and he can't understand her.

Bill: Why do you want to be buried at sea?
Fred: Because my wife says she wants to dance on my grave.