Mother-in-law Jokes - Page 1

My mother-in-law told me that she has a good complexion because she puts lemon juice on her face every morning.
But, perhaps that is why her face always looks so sour.

I'm having to leave my wife because of another woman - her mother.

The shortest distance between two points is the route a man takes when driving his mother-in-law home.

We have just had a blessed event in our house - my mother-in-law has just gone back to her own house.

So you want to become my son-in-law?
Not exactly. I just want to marry your daughter.

A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night and told him "there is a burglar downstairs in the kitchen and he is eating the cake that my mother made for us."
The husband said, "who shall I call, the police or an ambulance?"

Bill: I was sorry to hear that your mother-in-law died. What was the complaint?
George: We haven't had any yet.

A man who hated his mother-in-law got three wishes from a genie.
Genie: "Whatever you wish for, your mother-in-law gets DOUBLE."
First wish: "I would like one billion dollars."
Genie: "Ok but mom get's two billion."
Second wish: "I would like an island off the coast of Greece."
Genie: "OK but mom get's two islands."
Third wish: " I would like you to beat me half to death."

My mother in law called today...
I knew it was her, when she knocked on the front door all the mice threw themselves on the traps!

What's the definition of mixed emotions?
When you see your new mother-in law backing off a cliff in your brand new Mercedes.