Mother-in-law Jokes - Page 2

I gave my mother-in-law a waterproof, shockproof, anti-magnetic, unbreakable watch. She went and lost it.

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who got married, and at the wedding reception, toasted his mother-in-law?

'Oh, Nigel, I hear you buried you mother-in-law last week.' 'Had to... she was dead.'

'I just bought my mother-in-law a Jaguar.' 'Cor - I thought you didn't like her.' 'I know what I'm doing, it's bitten her twice already.'

A young wife came home one day and found her mother standing in a bucket of water with her finger stuck in the light socket. The young husband was standing by the switch. 'Hello, darllng,' said the mother, 'George has had this marvellous idea for curing my rheumatism.'

You know, I don't know what I'd do without my mother-in-law - but it's nice dreaming about it.
I mean, she's not ugly - it's just that when she makes up, the lipstick crawls back down the tube.
She's found a new cheap way of making yoghourt and sour cream - she just buys a bottle of milk and stares at it for a couple of minutes.

'Do you know, my mother-in-law has vanished, just disappeared from home. Just like that.'
'Have you given her description to the police?'
'No, they'd never believe me.'

I'm not saying the mother-in-law's ugly, but she uses her bottom lip as a shower cap.