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Jokes About Marriage - Page 10 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about marriage and married life.
This is page 10 of 15. Showing jokes 109 to 120
Maid: Your husband's locked up for the night, ma'am.
Mistress: Fine, but I didn't hear him come in.
Maid: He didn't. The police just phoned.
Mistress: Fine, but I didn't hear him come in.
Maid: He didn't. The police just phoned.
First Husband: Sometimes I get annoyed with my wife. She's always wanting to run her fingers through my hair.
Second Husband: You're a lucky guy. My wife's always running her fingers through my wallet.
Second Husband: You're a lucky guy. My wife's always running her fingers through my wallet.
One neighbor was talking to another neighbor in his garden when an automobile horn blew. He jumped as though very scared. His host asked why he jumped when he heard an automobile horn blow.
He replied: Last week, my wife ran away with the chauffeur, and whenever I hear an automobile horn blow, it frightens me.
I'm afraid he's bringing her back.
He replied: Last week, my wife ran away with the chauffeur, and whenever I hear an automobile horn blow, it frightens me.
I'm afraid he's bringing her back.
Some women get even with their husbands by staying married to them.
Janice: Today is my fourth wedding anniversary.
Anne: So you and Robert have been married four years?
Janice: No. Robert's my fourth husband.
Anne: So you and Robert have been married four years?
Janice: No. Robert's my fourth husband.
Henry: Darling. Will you marry me?
Jane: No. But I will always admire your good taste.
Jane: No. But I will always admire your good taste.
The therapist told my wife she should try to put some magic back into our marriage. So she disappeared.
A husband and wife went to see a marriage guidance counselor.
'This is the problem,' the husband said. 'We've been married ten years. For the last eight, we haven't been able to agree on anything.'
The counselor looked at the wife. 'Is that correct?' he asked.
'Definitely not,' she answered. 'We haven't been able to agree on anything for the last nine years.'
'This is the problem,' the husband said. 'We've been married ten years. For the last eight, we haven't been able to agree on anything.'
The counselor looked at the wife. 'Is that correct?' he asked.
'Definitely not,' she answered. 'We haven't been able to agree on anything for the last nine years.'
We decided to get married on Friday the 13th. If things don't work out, at least we'll have something to blame the divorce on.
Marriage is like a bathtub. It's not so hot once you are in it for a while.
Wife: Before we were married, you told me you were well off.
Husband: I was, but I didn't realize just how well off I was.
Husband: I was, but I didn't realize just how well off I was.
George: I'll be on my own for the next two weeks.
Richard: Why is that?
George: My wife goes home once a year to spend two weeks with her mother. It's sort of a refresher course in nagging.
Richard: Why is that?
George: My wife goes home once a year to spend two weeks with her mother. It's sort of a refresher course in nagging.