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Jokes About Marriage - Page 5

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about marriage and married life.

This is page 5 of 12. Showing jokes 41 to 50

Jokes About Marriage
How old is your wife?
Approaching forty.
Yes, but from which direction?
Jokes About Marriage
Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Now I only catch her in my pockets.
Jokes About Marriage
A man took his wife to the doctors. After he had examined her the doctor said "Your wife's mind has completely gone!"
To which the man replied, "I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 30 years."
Jokes About Marriage
A woman says to her friend, "I was in a such generous mood today, I gave a poor beggar $25."
"Thats a lot of money to give to a beggar," says her friend. "What did your husband say?"
"He said, 'Thank you'."
Jokes About Marriage
Two men are talking. The first said, "I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes."
"That's amazing," said the second, "I just got divorced for the very same reasons.
Jokes About Marriage
Wife: One more word from you and I will leave you and go back to my mother.
Husband: Taxi!
Jokes About Marriage
My wife really worships me, she puts burnt offerings in front of me every day.
Jokes About Marriage
Wife: To think that I had to marry you to find out just how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have realised that when I asked you to marry me.
Jokes About Marriage
A smart wife will always ask her husband's opinion - after she has made up her mind.
Jokes About Marriage
My wife has a terrible memory - she never forgets anything.

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