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Jokes About Marriage - Page 7

Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about marriage and married life.

This is page 7 of 12. Showing jokes 61 to 70

Jokes About Marriage
I still miss my ex-husband - but my aim is getting better.
Jokes About Marriage
Man to marriage counselor: "My wife and I can't agree on our vacation. I want to go to Bermuda and she wants to go with me."
Jokes About Marriage
Wedding rings: The world's smallest handcuffs.
Jokes About Marriage
Missing: wife and dog. Reward for dog.
Jokes About Marriage
Marriage - Female going from lipstick to broomstick.
Jokes About Marriage
Bigamy: one wife too many
Monogamy same thing.
Jokes About Marriage
Bigamist: A man who can have his Kate and Edith too.
Jokes About Marriage
It used to be wine, women and song. Now it's beer, the old lady, and TV.
Jokes About Marriage
If you miss your ex, reload and try again!
Jokes About Marriage
Once upon a time, these two women were talking and the one asks the other how many times she's been married, and the reply was 4.
'Four times!' exclaimed the first woman, why so many?
So the other woman said: 'Well, I first got married when I was very young, and I married this wonderful man who was a banker. However, one day just a few weeks after we were married, his bank was robbed and he was shot and killed.'
'Oh my gosh, that's terrible' the first woman said.
'Well, it wasn't that tragic. Soon after that, I started seeing another man who performed in the circus. He was really a great guy, but he lived pretty dangerously because he performed his high-wire act without a net. Well, a few weeks after we got married, he was performing a show and suddenly a gust of wind came by and knocked him off his wire and he was killed.'
'Your second husband was killed too?!!? That's horrible!'
'Yes, it was terrible, but at the funeral I fell in love with the minister and we got married soon after that. Unfortunately, one Sunday while he was walking to church, he was hit by a car and killed.'
'Three??? Three husbands of yours were killed? How could you live through all that?'
'It was pretty tough, but then I met my present husband. And he's a wonderful man. I think we'll live a long happy life together.'
'And what does your present husband do for a living?'
'He's a mortician.'
'A mortician? I don't understand something here. First you marry a banker, then a circus performer, then a minister, and now a mortician? Why such a diverse grouping of husbands?'
'Well, if you think about it it's not too hard to understand...
One for the money...
Two for the show...
Three to get ready...
And four to go!'

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