Joke Topics Beginning with the letter 'D' - Page 5

This is page 5 of the index of joke topics that begin with the letter 'D'.

The joke topics listed on this page are: - Drinks - Drivers - Driving - Drowning - Drums - Drunks - Ducks - Dumb.

This is page 5 of 5

Here are some randomly selected joke topics beginning with the letter 'D'

Why is it so hard to drive golf balls?
They don't have steering wheels!

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

What type of car does Dracula drive?
A bloodmobile.

The shortest distance between two points is the route a man takes when driving his mother-in-law home.

I knew that I must be drunk when I started feeling sophisticated - and couldn't pronounce it.

'I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am.
It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.'

I don't care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be

Hamish: 'Do you know the difference between you and a vending machine?'
Jimmy: 'No?'
Hamish: 'You can get a drink from a vending machine.'

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have a drum machine to do that now.

What is black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum kit.