Drunks
Why is it that drunks never spill drinks on other drunks?
Drunks
I knew that I must be drunk when I started feeling sophisticated - and couldn't pronounce it.
Drunks
Why did the drunk man dislike the cute little puppy?
Because it was the heir of the dog that bit him.
Drums
The first thing a child learns when he gets a drum is that he'll never get another one.
Drums
Why is a drum solo like a sneeze?
You know it's coming, but you can't do anything to stop it.
Drinks
What is a baby dog's favorite drink?
Pupsi-Cola.
Drums
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They have a drum machine to do that now.
Drunks
'I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am.
It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.'
Drunks
I'm not as you think as you drunk I am.
Driving
Why is it so hard to drive golf balls?
They don't have steering wheels!