Why did the bird fly into the public library?
It was looking for bookworms.
Why did the idiot try and steal a police car?
He saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Why did the baker stop making donuts?
Because he was tired of the hole business.
Why did the cookie visit the hospital?
It was feeling crummy!
Why did the astronomer keep hitting himself on the head with a book?
Because he wanted to see stars.
Why did the man sit in front of his television set with a bowl of sugar and milk?
They were showing a serial.
Why did the famous opera singer decide to go sailing?
Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
Why did the tree fail to answer the questions in the mathematics test?
Because he was stumped!
Why did the football coach give his team lighters?
Because they kept losing all their matches.
Why did the pirate go on vacation?
He needed some arrrrrgh and arrrrrgh!