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Jokes About Old Age - Page 1

Here are some jokes about getting old and old age. There are 11 jokes in this category.

This is page 1 of 2. Showing jokes 1 to 10

Jokes About Old Age
You're not old. You're chronologically challenged.
Jokes About Old Age
Old quarterbacks never die, they just pass away.
Jokes About Old Age
Old journalists never die, they just get de-pressed.
Jokes About Old Age
You know you're getting old when your back goes out more than you do.
Jokes About Old Age
You know you're getting old when you turn out the lights for economic reasons instead of romantic ones.
Jokes About Old Age
You know you're getting old when instead of combing your hair, you start "arranging" it.
Jokes About Old Age
You know you're getting old when you look at the menu before looking at the waitress or waiter.
Jokes About Old Age
Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?"
"Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques - visualization, association - it made a huge difference for me."
"That's great! What was the name of the clinic?"
Fred went blank. He thought and thought, but couldn't remember. Then a smile broke across his face and he asked, "What do you call that red flower with the long stem and thorns?"
"You mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's it!" He turned to his wife. . ."Rose, what was the name of that clinic?"
Jokes About Old Age
Signs You're Getting Old
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
You're the one calling the police because the kids next door won't turn down their stereo.
Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
Eating fried chicken at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
A $5.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
"I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
Jokes About Old Age
Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.

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