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Jokes About Old Age - Page 7 - With 5 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are more jokes about getting old and old age.
This is page 7 of 7. Showing jokes 73 to 77
SIGNS THAT YOU HAVE GROWN OLD:
1. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
2. Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
3. You get winded playing chess.
4. You look forward to a dull evening.
5. You turn out the light for economic rather then romantic reasons.
6. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
7. Your knees buckle but your belt won't.
8. Dialing long distance wears you out.
9. Your back goes out more than you do.
10. You sink youe teeth into a steak and they stay there.
11. A fortune teller offers to read your face.
12. You got to much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
13. Your children look middle aged.
14. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
1. Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
2. Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
3. You get winded playing chess.
4. You look forward to a dull evening.
5. You turn out the light for economic rather then romantic reasons.
6. You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
7. Your knees buckle but your belt won't.
8. Dialing long distance wears you out.
9. Your back goes out more than you do.
10. You sink youe teeth into a steak and they stay there.
11. A fortune teller offers to read your face.
12. You got to much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
13. Your children look middle aged.
14. You know all the answers, but nobody asks you the questions.
You know you're getting old when your grandchildren are studying events in history that you studied in current affairs.
Old yachtsmen never die, they just keel over.
You know you're getting on in years when the office girls start confiding in you.
Old wrestlers never die, they just lose their grip.
Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories
For Children
How do you start a jelly race?You say, "Get set."
What Do You Call?
What do you call a cow with only three legs?Lean beef.
Teachers
When is an English teacher like a judge?When she hands out long sentences.
Christmas
Why does Father Christmas go down chimneys?Because they soot him.
Scottish Jokes
Did you hear about the Scotsman who went on a week's holiday to England? He took a clean shirt and a five-pound note with him. When he arrived home, he hadn't changed either of them.Dentists
My dentist has no windows in his office. That's why they call him a paneless dentist.Scottish Jokes
What do you call a Scotsman with a castle on his head?Fort William.
Husbands
'Mommy, am I descended from a monkey?''I really don't know. I've never met your father's people.'