Home / Jokes About Computer Programmers & Users / Jokes About Computer Programmers & Users - Page 2
Jokes About Computer Programmers & Users - Page 2
Here are more of our jokes and funny stories about computer programmers and users.
This is page 2 of 11. Showing jokes 11 to 20
What do you get if you cross a computer with a hamburger?
A big mac.
A big mac.
What should do you do if your computer starts to hum?
Tell it to change its socks.
Tell it to change its socks.
How do you stop your laptop batteries from running out?
Hide their trainers.
Hide their trainers.
What does a proud computer call his little son?
A microchip off the old block.
A microchip off the old block.
Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put it in Reverse?
Cursor: What you become when your computer crashes.
Back Up My Hard Drive? I can't find the reverse switch!
Bad FAT? My hard disk has high cholesterol?
What if 80 million computer owners said, "Upgrade?
Why? It does everything we need, anyway?"
Why? It does everything we need, anyway?"
Computer Song To be sung with the theme from the Beverly Hillbillys:
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Ted, A poor college kid, barely kept his family fed. But then one day he was talking to a recruiter who said, "they'll pay big bucks if ya work on a computer".. UNIX, that is....Windows XP....Workstations...C++...VB Well, the first thing ya know ol' Ted's an engineer. The kinfolk said "Ted, move away from here". They said "Arizona is the place you oughta be" so he bought some donuts and he moved to Ahwatukee... Intel, that is....dry heat... no amusement parks..... On his first day at work, they stuck him in a cube. Fed him lots of donuts and sat him at a tube. They said "your project's late, but we know just what to do Instead of 40 hours, we'll work you 52!" OT, that is ...unpaid...mandatory..... The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad. Schedules started slipping and some managers were mad. They called another meeting and decided on a fix. the answer's very simple..."we'll work him sixty-six!" Tired, that is.. stressed out.. no social life.... Months turned into years and his hair was turning gray. Ted worked very hard while his life just slipped away Waiting to retire when he turned 64, instead he got a call and escorted out the door. Laid off, that is...de-briefed...unemployed. Now the moral of the story is, do what you are told companies will use you and discard you when you're old So gather up your friends and start your own firm, Beat the competition, watch old bosses squirm. Millionaires that is.....Bill Gates...Steve Jobs... Ya'll come back now, ya hear. There! Now get back to work!
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Ted, A poor college kid, barely kept his family fed. But then one day he was talking to a recruiter who said, "they'll pay big bucks if ya work on a computer".. UNIX, that is....Windows XP....Workstations...C++...VB Well, the first thing ya know ol' Ted's an engineer. The kinfolk said "Ted, move away from here". They said "Arizona is the place you oughta be" so he bought some donuts and he moved to Ahwatukee... Intel, that is....dry heat... no amusement parks..... On his first day at work, they stuck him in a cube. Fed him lots of donuts and sat him at a tube. They said "your project's late, but we know just what to do Instead of 40 hours, we'll work you 52!" OT, that is ...unpaid...mandatory..... The weeks rolled by and things were looking bad. Schedules started slipping and some managers were mad. They called another meeting and decided on a fix. the answer's very simple..."we'll work him sixty-six!" Tired, that is.. stressed out.. no social life.... Months turned into years and his hair was turning gray. Ted worked very hard while his life just slipped away Waiting to retire when he turned 64, instead he got a call and escorted out the door. Laid off, that is...de-briefed...unemployed. Now the moral of the story is, do what you are told companies will use you and discard you when you're old So gather up your friends and start your own firm, Beat the competition, watch old bosses squirm. Millionaires that is.....Bill Gates...Steve Jobs... Ya'll come back now, ya hear. There! Now get back to work!