Did you hear about the idiot who thought a taxidermist was someone who stuffs dead cab drivers?
Did you hear about the idiot who put his radio into a refrigerator?
He wanted to hear some cool music.
Did you hear what happened to the man who invested all his money in a company that made erasers?
He was wiped out When the company went bankrupt.
Did you hear about the happy Roman soldier?
He was a gladiator.
Did you hear about the two fat men who ran in the London Marathon?
One ran in short bursts, and the other in burst shorts.
Did you hear about the baker who got an electric shock?
He stood on a bun, and a current ran up his leg.
Did you hear about the man who fell into an upholstery machine?
He's fully recovered.
Did you hear about the idiot who buried his car battery when the auto mechanic told him that it was dead?
Did you hear about the pilot who went on sick leave?
He came down with the flu.
Did you hear about the three French swordsmen who liked to put mustard in their ears?
They were known as the three mustardears.
Did you hear about the husband who took his wife for some plastic surgery?
He had her credit cards removed!
Did you hear the story about the cup of coffee?
It's real hot stuff.