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Jokes About Work - Page 4 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
Here are more jokes about employment and work.
This is page 4 of 5. Showing jokes 37 to 48
When I first started working, I used to dream of the day when I might be earning the salary I'm starving on now.
How You Know You Are A High Tech Worker
It's dark when you drive to and from work.
You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.
You have sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
Your resume is on a flash drive in your pocket.
You learn about your layoff on CNN.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
Your supervisor hasn't the ability to do your job assignment.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
Salaries of the members of the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as you can't walk or being in the hospital.
All real work gets started after 5 pm or on weekends.
Only 10% of the people you work with (your boss included) - know what they are doing.
Vacation is something you roll over to next year.
Your relatives and family describe your job as 'works with computers' or 'does something with satellites.'
You have read this entire list and understood it.
It's dark when you drive to and from work.
You see a good-looking person and know it is a visitor.
You have sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.
Your resume is on a flash drive in your pocket.
You learn about your layoff on CNN.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes.
Your supervisor hasn't the ability to do your job assignment.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
Salaries of the members of the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home.
Being sick is defined as you can't walk or being in the hospital.
All real work gets started after 5 pm or on weekends.
Only 10% of the people you work with (your boss included) - know what they are doing.
Vacation is something you roll over to next year.
Your relatives and family describe your job as 'works with computers' or 'does something with satellites.'
You have read this entire list and understood it.
I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
The reward for a job well done: more work.
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
If you think we're a bad company, you should see the competition.
I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
He who laughs last is probably your boss.
'Why did you leave your last job?'
'It was something the boss said to me.'
'Was it something abusive?'
'Not exactly.'
'So what did he say?'
'You're fired.
'It was something the boss said to me.'
'Was it something abusive?'
'Not exactly.'
'So what did he say?'
'You're fired.
Tell me again how lucky I am to work here. I keep forgetting.
Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
Arnold saw an advertisement for a handyman for an apartment complex and decided to apply for the job.
'What do you know about plumbing was the interviewer's first question.
'Nothing at all,' said George.
'Well what about electricity?'
'Not a thing.'
'How about gardening then?'
'Never cut a lawn in my life.'
'Then tell me,' said the confused interviewer, 'just what makes you so handy?'
'I live right around the corner,' said Arnold.
'What do you know about plumbing was the interviewer's first question.
'Nothing at all,' said George.
'Well what about electricity?'
'Not a thing.'
'How about gardening then?'
'Never cut a lawn in my life.'
'Then tell me,' said the confused interviewer, 'just what makes you so handy?'
'I live right around the corner,' said Arnold.