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Jokes About Animals - 58 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Check out this collection of funny animal jokes if you're in the mood for a good laugh. Get ready to laugh out loud with these hilarious jokes that are guaranteed to leave you in stitches. There's a whole bunch of jokes about all sorts of creatures, from farm animals to wild ones. There are 58 jokes in this category.
This is page 1 of 5. Showing jokes 1 to 12
How do snails make their shells so shiny?
They use snail varnish.
They use snail varnish.
What happened to the shy tortoise?
He wouldn't come out of his shell.
He wouldn't come out of his shell.
What is a sheep's favorite Internet site?
Ewe tube.
Ewe tube.
Which animal never stops talking?
A yak.
A yak.
Why is a leopard no good at hide and seek?
He's always spotted.
He's always spotted.
Three animals were having a heated debate over who was the best. The first, a hawk, stated that because of his capacity to fly, he could continually strike anything from above, leaving his prey helpless. No one in the forest ventured to dispute the second, a lion, who staked his claim on strength. The third, a skunk, maintained that he could scare off any creature without the need for strength or flight. As the trio pondered the problem, a grizzly bear appeared and ate them all: hawk, lion, and stinker!
'Would you rather a lion ate you or a gorilla?'
'I would rather the lion ate the gorilla.'
'I would rather the lion ate the gorilla.'
A man was strolling down the street, cradling a baby ape in his arms when an acquaintance approached him and inquired about his unusual companion. This ape is a new pet that I purchased. He's going to live with us as a member of the family since we don't have any kids. He'll eat at the same table with us. He'll even sleep in the same bed with me and my wife.'
'But what about the smell?' the friend asked.
'Oh, he'll just have to get used to it, the same way I did.'
'But what about the smell?' the friend asked.
'Oh, he'll just have to get used to it, the same way I did.'
Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes, honey, but why do you want to know?
Baby snake: Well, I just bit my tongue.
Mother snake: Yes, honey, but why do you want to know?
Baby snake: Well, I just bit my tongue.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea. They get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
There once was 3 foxes. 2 of them were clever, the other one was stupid. One day they were stranded in a desert when they saw a little shop. They went inside and the 2 clever foxes bought food and water and the stupid one bought a car door. When they asked him why he bought it, he said, 'so that I can wind down the window when it gets hot.'
A giant panda went into a cafe and ordered a cheeseburger. It sat there quietly eating the cheeseburger, then it got up, took out a gun, shot the waiter, and walked outside.
'Did you see that?' exclaimed a customer. 'Why did he do that?' he asked the manager. The manager looked up from the book he was leafing through. 'I'm looking it up in the dictionary,' he replied. 'It says here: 'Panda eats shoots and leaves.'
'Did you see that?' exclaimed a customer. 'Why did he do that?' he asked the manager. The manager looked up from the book he was leafing through. 'I'm looking it up in the dictionary,' he replied. 'It says here: 'Panda eats shoots and leaves.'