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Golf Jokes - 67 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At

Here are some funny jokes and funny stories about golfers and the game of golf to add a bit of humor to the normally serious sport. Prepare to start your game with a laugh by enjoying these golf jokes that will surely make you chuckle! There are 67 jokes in this category.

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'My wife says if I don't quit playing golf, she'll leave me.'
'That's too bad.'
'Yeah, I'll miss her.'

Golfer: 'This is terrible. I've never played this badly before.
Caddie: 'Oh, then you have played before?'

He hits into sandtraps so often that he had to trade in his golf cart for a dune buggy.

He said to his caddy, 'I bet there are people who are a lot worse at golf than I am.'
The caddy said, 'Sure, but they don't play.'

He's too fat to play. If he places the ball where he can hit it, he can't see it. If he places it where he can see it, he can't hit it.

One sure way to stay employed: Be the only witness when the boss makes a hole-in-one.

The doctor who golfs has one great advantage over the rest of us. Nobody can read his scorecard.

My brother went to the doctor's and said, 'Some days, I think I'm a golf ball.'
The doctor said, 'Well, you've come a fair way to see me...'

My brother went to the doctor and said, 'Some days, I get the strange feeling that I'm a golf club.'
The doctor said, 'Can I join?'

This man wrote to the Daily Mirror for some advice. He said, 'Dear Marge, I must get this off my chest. I did this awful golf shot, and the ball didn't go near the green. It landed on this bloke's head and killed him. What shall I do?'
Marge said, 'Try and get more rhythm in your swing.'

Did you know, Peter, I got a new set of golf clubs for my wife last week.'
'Oh, David, what a bargain.'

A man and his wife were watching golf on TV, and the commentary sound was rather low. The woman went to turn it up. 'Ssh,' said the husband, 'ssh. Not while he's putting.'

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