Golf Jokes - Page 2

Henry is such a bad golfer that when he shouts "Fore" you don't know Whether he's warning people to duck or counting the number of people he just hit!

The man who takes up golf to take his mind off his 'work' often takes up Work to take his mind off golf.

Wife: Where are you going with your golf clubs?
Husband: To a tee party.

Waiter: What will you have, sir?
Golfer: A club sandwich please.

Wife: Why do you always think about golf at bedtime?
Husband: It putts me to sleep.

Roger: I'm going on a diet to improve my golf game.
Tom: How will losing weight help your game?
Roger: Because at the moment I can't see the ball if I put it where I can hit it, and I can't hit it if I put it where I can see it!

Wife: Sorry, but you can't go to the golf course today.
Husband: Okay, in that case I'll just putter around the yard.

Golfer: Do you notice any improvement since last year?
Caddy: Yes sir, you've bought a new golf bag.

What are the three worst words you can hear while playing a round of golf?
"Still your turn"!

A man is about to be married and is waiting outside the church with his bride-to-be. Beside them are his golf clubs.
His bride asks him, "Why have you brought your golf clubs to the church on our wedding day?"
The groom replied, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"