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Jokes About Sports
Here are some of our favorite jokes and stories about sports. There's something here for everyone, from die-hard fans to people who just want to laugh. Anyone with a good sense of humor is sure to enjoy these jokes, which range from funny mistakes made on the field to smart locker-room talk. There are 33 jokes in this category.
This is page 1 of 3. Showing jokes 1 to 12
His horse came in so late that the jockey was wearing pajamas.
One advantage of bowling over golf is that you very seldom lose the ball.
Skiing is a great sport, but there must be a cheaper way to break your bones.
This trainer came up to this boxer. He said, 'Are you ready for another fight?'
The boxer said, 'Just a bout.'
The boxer said, 'Just a bout.'
Good morning, doctor.'
'Good morning. What's the trouble?'
My shins, doctor. Look.'
'Good heavens. They're all hacked to pieces. Looks as if everyone's been kicking you. What have you been playing - soccer or rugby?'
'Bridge.'
'Good morning. What's the trouble?'
My shins, doctor. Look.'
'Good heavens. They're all hacked to pieces. Looks as if everyone's been kicking you. What have you been playing - soccer or rugby?'
'Bridge.'
The whole family was grouped round the television watching an international rugby match and the English full- back once again failed to intercept the opposing wing, who streaked home for his twentieth try. 'That full-back,' said the father, 'he's useless. I don't know why they let him play for the side at all.' 'Well,' said his five-year-old son, 'perhaps it's his ball.'
All the best chess players were at a big tournament. They hung out for the first hour in the hallway, bragging about their recent victories. Suddenly, the hotel manager threw them all out of the hallway. When asked why, he replied: 'I hate chess nuts boasting by an open foyer!'
A little girl went to the Judge and asked to be taken away from her parents ...
Judge: 'Little girl, don't you want to live with your Mommy?'
Little Girl: 'No, my Mommy beats me.'
Judge: 'Little girl, don't you want to live with your Daddy?'
Little Girl: 'No, my Daddy beats me too.'
Judge: 'Well, little girl, who do you want to live with?'
Little Girl: 'I want to live with the Cubs because they never beat anyone!'
Judge: 'Little girl, don't you want to live with your Mommy?'
Little Girl: 'No, my Mommy beats me.'
Judge: 'Little girl, don't you want to live with your Daddy?'
Little Girl: 'No, my Daddy beats me too.'
Judge: 'Well, little girl, who do you want to live with?'
Little Girl: 'I want to live with the Cubs because they never beat anyone!'
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened.
'So, how did you do, son?' he asked.
'You'll never believe it!' Billy said. 'I was responsible for the winning run!'
'Really? How'd you do that?'
'I dropped the ball.'
'So, how did you do, son?' he asked.
'You'll never believe it!' Billy said. 'I was responsible for the winning run!'
'Really? How'd you do that?'
'I dropped the ball.'
Old skiers never die. They just go downhill.
Three men were attempting to get into the Olympic Village to obtain souvenirs and autographs. One says, "Let's keep an eye on the registration table to determine whether or not there is a vulnerability in the security system that we can take advantage of to gain access."
At that very moment, a muscular athlete approaches the table and announces, "Angus MacPherson, Scotland." The shotgun.' Opening his gym bag, he shows the person in charge of registration a shotput.
The first guy is inspired and grabs a little tree sapling, strips off its branches and roots, marches up to the registration table, and declares: "Chuck Wagon." Canada. Javelin.'
"Excellent, Mr. Wagon," remarks the attendant. This packet contains the registration documents, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and other items. I wish you luck!
The second man grabs a street utility manhole cover, proceeds to the registration table, and says Dusty Rhodes, Australia. Discus.'
"Terrific, Mr. Rhodes," remarks the attendant. Here are your meal tickets, room keys, registration documents, and complete set of passes. Have a good time.
After scampering in, they suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They groan because he's a simpleton from the hills of Vermont. Nobody checked to ensure he didn't do anything foolish that would expose their cover stories.
At that moment, he confidently approaches the table, holding a roll of barbed wire beneath his arm, and declares, "Foster Bean." Vermont's Hardwick. Fencing.
At that very moment, a muscular athlete approaches the table and announces, "Angus MacPherson, Scotland." The shotgun.' Opening his gym bag, he shows the person in charge of registration a shotput.
The first guy is inspired and grabs a little tree sapling, strips off its branches and roots, marches up to the registration table, and declares: "Chuck Wagon." Canada. Javelin.'
"Excellent, Mr. Wagon," remarks the attendant. This packet contains the registration documents, hotel keys, passes, meal tickets, and other items. I wish you luck!
The second man grabs a street utility manhole cover, proceeds to the registration table, and says Dusty Rhodes, Australia. Discus.'
"Terrific, Mr. Rhodes," remarks the attendant. Here are your meal tickets, room keys, registration documents, and complete set of passes. Have a good time.
After scampering in, they suddenly realize the third guy is missing. They groan because he's a simpleton from the hills of Vermont. Nobody checked to ensure he didn't do anything foolish that would expose their cover stories.
At that moment, he confidently approaches the table, holding a roll of barbed wire beneath his arm, and declares, "Foster Bean." Vermont's Hardwick. Fencing.
Why did the basketball court get wet?
The players dribbled all over it.
The players dribbled all over it.