Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, after a lousy summer
Cannibals
What's a cannibal's favorite meal?
Baked human beans.
Waiters
Waiter, waiter, have you smoked salmon?
No, sir, but I have smoked a pipe.
Birds
What do you get if you cross a bird with a magician?
A flying sorcerer.
Mutts
What do you get if you cross a mutt with a poodle?
A muddle.
Bosses
Job Applicant: Have you got an opening for me?
Boss: Yes, and don't slam it on the way out.
Schools
Teacher to Pupil: What do you get if you divide 2365 by 37?
Pupil: The wrong answer, I expect, Miss.
Moles
What did the mother mole say to her son?
Where in earth have you been?
Lawyers
Last year, a group of terrorists hijacked a planeload of lawyers. They said they'd release one every hour unless their demands were met.