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Police Jokes - 30 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Check out these hilarious jokes and funny stories about the dedicated work of the police in their relentless fight against crime. There are 30 jokes in this category.
This is page 1 of 3. Showing jokes 1 to 12
A man was caught stealing helium balloons. Police kept him for a while before releasing him.
I wanted to be a policeman but discovered I was allergic to doughnuts
'Did you notice anything special about the man?' the FBI agent asked the bank teller following the bandit's third successful robbery of the bank.
'Yes, he seemed better dressed each time.'
'Yes, he seemed better dressed each time.'
When the driver of a squad car was out in the countryside covering a quiet beat, he was taken aback to see a former lieutenant on the police force patrolling the beat. He stopped the car and asked, 'Why, Johnny, this can't be your new beat out here in the sticks, is it?'
'That true,' Johnny replied grimly, 'ever since I arrested a judge on his way to a masquerade ball.'
'You mean you pinched his honor?' asked Pat.
Johnny asked, "How was I to know that his prison uniform was just a costume?"
' Well,' mused Pat, 'tis life, and there's a lesson in this somewhere.'
'That there is,' replied Johnny. 'You should never book a judge by his cover.'
'That true,' Johnny replied grimly, 'ever since I arrested a judge on his way to a masquerade ball.'
'You mean you pinched his honor?' asked Pat.
Johnny asked, "How was I to know that his prison uniform was just a costume?"
' Well,' mused Pat, 'tis life, and there's a lesson in this somewhere.'
'That there is,' replied Johnny. 'You should never book a judge by his cover.'
A man went to the police station and insisted that he speak to the man who had broken into his house the previous night.
'You'll get your chance in court,' said the desk sergeant.
'But you don't understand,' said the man. 'I want to know how he got into my house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years.'
'You'll get your chance in court,' said the desk sergeant.
'But you don't understand,' said the man. 'I want to know how he got into my house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years.'
Yesterday thieves broke into a police station and sto
Old policemen never die; they just cop out.
Tourist: Is that chin-strap to keep your helmet on?
Policeman: No, sir, it's to rest my jaw on after answering stupid questions.
Policeman: No, sir, it's to rest my jaw on after answering stupid questions.
Two policemen are called to the crime scene in a convenience store. One asks the manager what happened.
He replies, 'There's a man over there covered in Corn Flakes, and he's dead.'
'That's odd,' said the first policeman, 'didn't we have one covered in Bran Flakes yesterday? And another covered in Wheata Flakes last week?'
' You right,' said the second policeman. 'This must be the work of a cereal killer.'
He replies, 'There's a man over there covered in Corn Flakes, and he's dead.'
'That's odd,' said the first policeman, 'didn't we have one covered in Bran Flakes yesterday? And another covered in Wheata Flakes last week?'
' You right,' said the second policeman. 'This must be the work of a cereal killer.'
Did you hear that a truckload of prunes has been stolen? Police are searching for a man on the run.
My brother is now with the FBI. They finally tracked him down.
What do you get if you cross a fly with a detective?
A police insector.
A police insector.