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Jokes About Judges - 14 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At

Let's add some fun to the serious realm of law and court! Judges are famed for their severity, yet behind those solemn robes, they may just grin at these jokes. There are 14 jokes in this category.

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This tramp comes up before the judge, and he doesn't half-smell. The judge says, 'What's the charge against this man?'
The policeman says, 'A fragrancy charge, your honor.'

This man was called up before the judge. He said, 'Your honor, why do you keep leaping up and down?'
The judge said, 'Why do you think? It's a kangaroo court.'

Judge: 'Do you wish to challenge any of the jury?
Prisoner: 'Well, I think I can lick that little fellow on this end...'

The judge fined the offender fifty dollars and told him he would be thrown in jail if he was caught again. It is fine today but cooler tomorrow.

Robber: Your Honor. I'm sorry for breaking into the Italian restaurant.
Judge: Thirty days for disturbing the pizza.

How do you learn to be a judge?
Usually by trial and error.

What did the judge say to his wife when he got home from the law courts?
It's been a very trying day!

The judge asked the dentist: 'Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?'

'Have you anything to offer to the court before sentence is passed?'
'No, Judge. I had ten dollars, but my lawyer took that.

'Have you ever been cross-examined before?'
'Yes, Your Honor, I'm a married man.'

'This is the fifth time you've appeared before me. I fine you ten dollars.'
'Your Honor, don't I get a discount for being a regular customer?'

What do you call a judge who is very short?
A small thing that has been sent to try us.

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