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Jokes About Politicians - Page 2 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
These jokes and stories about politics and politicians are sure to make you laugh out loud.
This is page 2 of 5. Showing jokes 13 to 24
Statesmen tell you what is true even though it may be unpopular. Politicians will tell you what is popular, even though it may be untrue.
The government claims it's following the will of the people. I didn't even know we'd died!
The trouble with political jokes is they get elected.
Why don't political leaders have all the answers until they write their memoirs?
A small plane carrying a senator, a clergyman, and a Boy Scout experienced engine issues. 'We'll have to bail out,' declared the pilot. Regretfully, there are just three parachutes available. My wife and I are parents to seven young ones. My family needs me. I'm going to jump out using one of the parachutes! And he jumped. The senator said, "I am the world's smartest politician." I'm taking one of the parachutes because the country needs me. The clergyman told the Boy Scout, "Your life is still ahead of you, and mine has been good." That's your turn to jump. "Don't need to," the young man said with a shrug. Two parachutes are still there. "The world's smartest politician just jumped with my bag!"
Nobody can fix the economy.
Nobody can be trusted with their finger on the button.
Nobody's perfect.
VOTE FOR NOBODY!
Nobody can be trusted with their finger on the button.
Nobody's perfect.
VOTE FOR NOBODY!
If voting could change the system, it would be illegal.
It would be illegal if not voting could change the system.
It would be illegal if not voting could change the system.
Nevertheless, in order to provide a response at this time, I will simply explain, and this is a repetition of what I have stated in the past, that the information that I am unable to provide in response is based on the fact that no such statement is accessible.
Activity is the politician's substitute for achievement.
Crime is merely politics without excuses.
During Britain's 'brain drain,' no politician left the country.
In politics, honesty is comparable to oxygen. The higher you go, the more difficult it is to find.