Jokes About Children - Page 1

A little girl named Sally loved to eat animal crackers. Her mom took her to the store and bought her some. When they got home, Sally started taking out all the animal crackers from the box and laid them all out on the table. Her mother asked why she was doing that.
Sally replied, "I'm looking for the seal. The box says if the seal is broken, don't eat it."

Dad: I think our son is planning to become an astronaut when he gets older.
Mom: What makes you think that?
Dad: Well, he spends every day sitting in a chair staring into space!

Old Lady: What a cute little boy. What's your name, sweetheart?
Little boy: Robert.
Old Lady: Can you tell me your full name?
Little boy: Robert Stop That At Once!

The young couple invited an elderly uncle to join them for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the uncle asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat!. "Are you certain about that?"
"Yes," said the youngster. "This morning, I heard my dad tell my mom, 'Today is just as good a day as any to have that old goat for dinner.'"

A group of young children were sat in a circle with their nursery teacher. She was asking them questions in turn.
Davy, what noise does a cow make?
A cow goes moo.
Alice, what noise does a cat make?
A cat goes meow.
Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?
A lamb goes baaa.
Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?
Errr.., it goes.. click!

A convict escaped from prison by digging a tunnel. It came up outside the prison in a school playground. The convict was so happy when he emerged from the tunnel he exclaimed, "I'm free, I'm free!"
"So what," said a little girl. "I'm four."

It's true that children brighten up a home.
They never turn off the lights.

A mother was teaching her three year old daughter The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully said each word right up to the end..."And lead us not into temptation", she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail, Amen."

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, "Mommy, why does the bride wear white?"
His mom replies, "The bride is in white because she's happy and this is the happiest day of her life."
The boys thinks about this, and then says, "Well then why is the groom wearing black..."

"And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?" asked the father of his little son.
"Diet."