A man walked into a bar in Egypt and ordered a drink. While he was pouring the drink, the barman asked him if he had ever been in the bar before.
"I've been here a few times" replied the customer.
"I thought so," said the barman. "I don't remember your name, but I've definitely seen your fez before."
This man was in the pub when he spotted someone he thought he knew. So he went over to him and said, "Are you Colin Williams?" The other man replied that he was not Colin Williams.
"That's strange, you look just like him. You must have a double."
"Thanks very much, I'll have a double whisky."
An Irishman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for an IW.
"IW?" inquires the bartender, "what's that?"
"Irish whiskey," answers the man. So the bartender gives him an Irish whiskey and the man sits down to drink it. A little while later, a Scotsman arrives and requests an SW. "Scotch whiskey?" asks the bartender.
"Right," answers the man.
The bartender gives him the whiskey and the man sits down to drink it. Soon, a blonde appears and tells the bartender she wants a "15."
"What's a 15?" asks the bartender.
"You know," begins the blonde, "seven and seven."
Computers
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.Change A Light Bulb
How many FILM DIRECTORS does it take to change a light bulb?
'I don't care how many it takes, what it costs, or how you do it - JUST GET IT CHANGED, OKAY?!?! !' Chickens
Why do chickens like to chat so much?
Because talk is cheep.Blondes
What do you do if a blonde woman throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin out and throw it back. Miscellaneous
Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac; you can always take something for it.Office
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.Girlfriends
She's got a memory like an elephant and a shape to match. Teachers
Art Teacher: 'Brian, what color would you paint the sun and the wind?'
Brian: 'The sun rose, and the wind blue.'