Bar Jokes - Page 2 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories
This carefully selected collection of jokes and humorous stories about bars and bartenders is sure to delight and make you laugh out loud.
This is page 2 of 4. Showing jokes 13 to 24
Who said beer won't make you smarter? It made Bud wiser!
A man walks into a bar and asks, 'Do you serve women in this bar?'
'No,' replies the barman, 'you have to bring your own.'
'No,' replies the barman, 'you have to bring your own.'
A bar owner finishes clearing up one night after closing time when a spectral hound floats through the door. The bar owner is scared but asks him what he wants.
The phantom hound explains, 'I've lost my tail and cannot rest until a kindly bar owner stitches it back on.'
'Sorry,' said the bar owner, 'but we don't re-tail spirits at this time of night.'
The phantom hound explains, 'I've lost my tail and cannot rest until a kindly bar owner stitches it back on.'
'Sorry,' said the bar owner, 'but we don't re-tail spirits at this time of night.'
After finishing work, a man entered a bar and ordered a beer. He heard a sultry female voice say, "You've got nice hair," as he began to sip his beer. The man looked around but couldn't see where the voice came from. A minute later, he heard the same voice saying, 'You are a handsome man.' The man was puzzled by this, so he asked the barman what was happening.
The barman replied, 'It's the nuts - they're complimentary.'
The barman replied, 'It's the nuts - they're complimentary.'
A pie walks into a bar and asks the owner if he can have a pint of beer and a packet of crisps. The bar owner replies and says, sorry, we don't serve food.
What do you call a woman who goes into a bar and starts to juggle with the drinks?
Beatrix (beer tricks).
Beatrix (beer tricks).
I'm watching my drinking, so now I only visit bars that have mirrors on the walls.
When a man enters a pub, he notices Vincent Van Gogh is seated at the bar. I really like your paintings, the man says. Would you like a drink?
Vincent replies, 'No thanks, I've got one ear.'
Vincent replies, 'No thanks, I've got one ear.'
The man who goes into a bar very optimistically usually leaves it very misty optically.
A man is standing drinking at the bar when the man next to him whispers, 'Do you want to buy any pirate DVDs?'
'No thanks, I hate Treasure Island.'
'No thanks, I hate Treasure Island.'
Two fonts walk into a bar. The barman says to them, 'Get out. We don't serve your type in here.'
Two television sets walk into a bar, and the barman says, 'Sorry, but we don't serve your kind in this bar'.
One television turns to the other and says, 'I thought that we'd get a better reception than this in here'.
One television turns to the other and says, 'I thought that we'd get a better reception than this in here'.