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Joke Topic - 'Restaurants' - Page 2 - With 12 More Jokes and Funny Stories

This is page 2 of jokes on the topic - 'Restaurants'.

My brother was in a restaurant. He said, 'Waiter, why is this pie squashed?'
The waiter said, 'Well sir, you said 'I want a pie, and step on it.'

My brother was in this restaurant. He said, 'Excuse me, waiter, but I don't like the look of this cod.'
The waiter said, I'm sorry, sir. If I'd known it was looks you were after, I'd have got you a goldfish.'

My mum and dad went into this restaurant. They said, 'Waiter, have you got spaghetti on the menu?'
The waiter said, 'Looks like it. I'll get a cloth and wipe it off.'

My uncle went to a restaurant, and there was this waitress scratching herself. He said, 'Tell me, have you got eczema?'
She said, 'Not if it's not on the menu.'

Waiter, waiter, do they ever change the tablecloths in this restaurant?
I don't know, sir. I've only been here a year.

Waiter, waiter, do you have frogs' legs?'
'No, sir, I always walk this way.'

Waiter, waiter, do you have frogs' legs?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Well, hop over the counter and get me a sandwich.'

Waiter, waiter, have you smoked salmon?
No, sir, but I have smoked a pipe.

Waiter, waiter, just what is this fly doing in my soup?
The breaststroke, sir.

Waiter, waiter, there seems to be a dead fly floating in my soup.
Yes, sir, it's the hot water that kills them.

Waiter, waiter, there's a fly swimming around in my soup.'
'No, sir. Actually, that's the chef. The last customer was a witch doctor.'

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