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Funny Definitions - Page 2

Here are more of our funny definitions.

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Funny Definitions
Capitalism - the survival of the fattest.
Funny Definitions
Oboe: An ill woodwind that no-one blows good.
Funny Definitions
Impeccable: having immunity to woodpeckers.
Funny Definitions
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Funny Definitions
A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
Funny Definitions
A born loser: Somebody who calls the telephone number that's scrawled in lipstick on the phone booth wall -- and his wife answers.

Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories


Why did the shellfish go to the gym?
To build up it's mussels.


What do fir trees do when they are sad?
They pine a lot.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate 9

Knock Knock

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Beats who?
Beats me.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alec who?
Alec Veronica but I don't like you.


The reason computer chips are so small is computers don't eat much.

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