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Funny Definitions - Page 2

Here are more of our funny definitions.

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Funny Definitions
Impeccable: having immunity to woodpeckers.
Funny Definitions
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Funny Definitions
A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
Funny Definitions
A born loser: Somebody who calls the telephone number that's scrawled in lipstick on the phone booth wall -- and his wife answers.

Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories


If you think life's a joke, tell me the punchline


Why did the pig write a letter to his friend?
Because they were pen pals.


Where do sheep buy their Christmas presents?
They go to Wool-mart!

Bad Luck

Is it bad luck to be superstitious?


Teenage Driver: But, officer, I'm a college graduate.
Traffic Cop: Sorry, but ignorance is no excuse for breaking the law.


The most sadistic Christmas present I ever heard of was a down-payment on a Rolls-Royce. (think about it)

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