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Funny Definitions - Page 2

Here are more of our funny definitions.

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Funny Definitions
Capitalism - the survival of the fattest.
Funny Definitions
Oboe: An ill woodwind that no-one blows good.
Funny Definitions
Impeccable: having immunity to woodpeckers.
Funny Definitions
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Funny Definitions
A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
Funny Definitions
A born loser: Somebody who calls the telephone number that's scrawled in lipstick on the phone booth wall -- and his wife answers.

Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories


My great uncle Morris died of deafness. He was so deaf he didn't hear the roadroller coming.


I'm not a steady drinker - my hand shakes too much.


John: My mother thinks I'm too thin.
Helen: What gave you that idea?
John: She is always saying she can see right through me.

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Missouri who?
Missouri loves company!


If strike isn't settled quickly, it may last a while


What should you do if you see a blue monster?
Try and cheer him up.

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