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Funny Definitions - Page 2

Here are more of our funny definitions.

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Funny Definitions
Impeccable: having immunity to woodpeckers.
Funny Definitions
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Funny Definitions
A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
Funny Definitions
A born loser: Somebody who calls the telephone number that's scrawled in lipstick on the phone booth wall -- and his wife answers.

Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Jess who?
Jess you wait until you open the door.


What do you call the place that is crowded with doctors most afternoons?
A golf course.


How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.

There are three ways a man can wear his hair - parted - unparted or departed.


Did you hear about the stupid yachtsman who had his arm cut off so that he could sail round the world single-handed.


How many books can you put on an empty shelf?
One. After that it isn't empty.

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