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Funny Definitions - Page 2


Here are more of our funny definitions.

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Funny Definitions
Capitalism - the survival of the fattest.
Funny Definitions
Oboe: An ill woodwind that no-one blows good.
Funny Definitions
Impeccable: having immunity to woodpeckers.
Funny Definitions
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
Funny Definitions
A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
Funny Definitions
A born loser: Somebody who calls the telephone number that's scrawled in lipstick on the phone booth wall -- and his wife answers.


Here are some randomly selected jokes from other categories

Vampires

What do vampires cross the ocean in?
Blood vessels.

Christmas

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Raptor.
Raptor who?
Raptor presents before Christmas.

Martians

Why are Martians green?
They forgot to take their travel sickness tablets before leaving Mars.

Pigs

Why was the daddy pig angry with his piglets?
They called him an old boar.

Wedding

Did you hear about the two satellite dishes that got married?
The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great!

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
Cows go moo not who.

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