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Joke Topic - 'Trees'

Here are 5 jokes on the topic - 'Trees'.


A little withered old man walks into a timber company office, and applies for a job as a lumberjack. The foreman politely tries to talk him out of the idea. After all, he is old, small, and looks much too weak to fell trees.
The old man picks up an axe and walks over to a huge redwood. As he goes to work, a high-pitched whine comes from the axe, chips of wood fly everwhere, and the odor of burning wood fills the air. In record time, the old man has finished chopping down the tree.
"That's just astounding,"the foreman says, "wherever did you learn to chop down trees like that?"
"Well now," the old man smiles, "have you ever heard of the Sahara Forest?"
"You mean the Sahara Desert."
"Sure, that's what it's called NOW..."

What do fir trees do when they are sad?
They pine a lot.

What do sad Christmas trees do?
They pine a lot.

What do you call a monster tree that wanders around the forest?

What is white, light and sugary and swings from trees?
A meringue-utan.

Here are some randomly selected joke topics



'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!'
"Don't worry, sir, the tarantula on the roll will catch it."


Did you hear about the dating agency for chickens that went bankrupt last week?
They couldn't make hens meet.


What do you call cattle that have a sense of humor?
Laughing stock.


Why did the football coach go to a hair salon?
He had too many split ends.


Autopsy is a dying art


Say, do you happen to know Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?
No, I didn't even know he had moved home.


Did you hear about the optician who tripped over a dog?
He made quite a spectacle of himself.


If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the frying pan?

A Strawberry

This bloke said to my brother, 'My trouble is I keep thinking I'm a strawberry.'
My brother said, 'You're in a jam then aren't you.'

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