A little withered old man walks into a timber company office, and applies for a job as a lumberjack. The foreman politely tries to talk him out of the idea. After all, he is old, small, and looks much too weak to fell trees.
The old man picks up an axe and walks over to a huge redwood. As he goes to work, a high-pitched whine comes from the axe, chips of wood fly everwhere, and the odor of burning wood fills the air. In record time, the old man has finished chopping down the tree.
"That's just astounding,"the foreman says, "wherever did you learn to chop down trees like that?"
"Well now," the old man smiles, "have you ever heard of the Sahara Forest?"
"You mean the Sahara Desert."
"Sure, that's what it's called NOW..."
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Fish
Did you hear about the a fish that wanted to borrow some money?
He went to visit the loan shark.
Dentists
When I talk people listen with their mouth open.
Oh, you must be a dentist.
Restaurant
A sign in the window of a restaurant: "Eat now - Pay waiter."
Intelligent
Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down here. - J.T. Kirk
Get Lost
I never get lost - everyone tells me where to go.
Blondes
What does a smart blonde and a dinosaur have in common?
They are both extinct.
Overweight
Overweight just sorta of snacks up on you.
Deer
How do you call a deer with no eyes.
No idea.
Taxidermist
Did you hear about the idiot who thought a taxidermist was someone who stuffs dead cab drivers?