Joke Topic - 'Today' - 3 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At

Here are 3 jokes on the topic - 'Today'.

If yesterday was today - today would be yesterday.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hair.
Hair who?
Hair today and gone tomorrow.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Whatcha.
Whatcha who?
Whatcha going to do today?

Here are some randomly selected joke topics

I don't like shopping centers. After all, once you've seen one, you've seen the mall.

What do you get if you deep fry Father Christmas? Crisp Cringle.

Hypochondriacs make me sick

Before deciding to retire from working, it is best to stay home for a week and watch daytime TV shows.

What has three tails, twelve legs, and can't see?
Three blind mice.

What do you get if you cross an artist with a policeman?
A brush with the law.

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Amanda.
Amanda who?
Amanda doctor's orders at the moment.

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a snail.
Don't worry, we'll soon have you out of your shell.

How did the blonde manage to break her leg while raking leaves?
She fell from the tree.