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Joke Topic - 'Software'


Here are 5 jokes on the topic - 'Software'.

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How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
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How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.
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How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We'll document it in the manual."
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My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
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Software Development Cycle

Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

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Cats

Did you hear about the cat that fell in the yogurt?
He's a sour puss now.
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Less

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Maura.
Maura who?
Maura less.
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Christmas Trees

Why are Christmas trees not very good at knitting?
Because they are always dropping their needles.
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A Pack Of Cards

My friend said, 'That bloke over there thinks he's a pack of cards.'
My brother said, 'I'll have to deal with him later.'
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Ghosts

Did you hear about the baby ghost who applied to join the football team?
He heard the manager say that they were in need of a little team spirit.
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Christmas

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
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Mother

I bet your mother has a loud bark!
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Ghost

What do you get if you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips?
Snacks that go crunch in the night.
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Scotsmen

Why are Scotsmen such good golfers?
They know that the fewer times they have to hit the ball the longer it will last.

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