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Joke Topic - 'Software' - 5 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Here are 5 jokes on the topic - 'Software'.
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: two to write the software specification, one to install it, and two to justify the project's delay.
Five: two to write the software specification, one to install it, and two to justify the project's delay.
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. 'We'll document it in the manual.'
None. 'We'll document it in the manual.'
How many software programmers are required to change a lightbulb?
Two. Someone always leaves in the middle of a project.
Two. Someone always leaves in the middle of a project.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Software Development Cycle
Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program, shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice, actually came to you by way of an elaborate path through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program, shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice, actually came to you by way of an elaborate path through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Witches
Why did the witch buy a computer?
She needed a spell checker.
She needed a spell checker.
Ghosts
What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
We'll have a boo Christmas without you.
We'll have a boo Christmas without you.
Pop Stars
What do you call a pop group made up of animal doctors?
Vet, Vet, Vet.
Vet, Vet, Vet.
Dads
This kid said to me, 'My dad can beat your dad up.'
I said to him, 'That's nothing. So can my mum.'
I said to him, 'That's nothing. So can my mum.'
Santa Claus
Why must Santa Claus be a man?
Because no woman will be seen wearing the same outfit year after year!
Because no woman will be seen wearing the same outfit year after year!
Blondes
How did the blonde manage to break her leg while raking leaves?
She fell from the tree.
She fell from the tree.
Dogs
What would it be called if Fairbanks, Alaska, passed a law outlawing all dogs?
Dogless Fairbanks!
Dogless Fairbanks!
Thieves
Thieves Steal Burglar Alarm
Cats
Did you hear about the young cat who went to work for the Red Cross?
She wanted to be a first aid kit.
She wanted to be a first aid kit.