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Joke Topic - 'Software' - 5 Jokes and Funny Stories To Laugh At
Here are 5 jokes on the topic - 'Software'.
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five: two to write the software specification, one to install it, and two to justify the project's delay.
2>Five: two to write the software specification, one to install it, and two to justify the project's delay.
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. 'We'll document it in the manual.'
2>None. 'We'll document it in the manual.'
How many software programmers are required to change a lightbulb?
Two. Someone always leaves in the middle of a project.
2>Two. Someone always leaves in the middle of a project.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
1>Software Development Cycle
Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program, shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice, actually came to you by way of an elaborate path through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
5>Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program, shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice, actually came to you by way of an elaborate path through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Jobs
Did you hear about the man who gave up his job as a fishmonger?
He said it was making him shellfish.
2>He said it was making him shellfish.
Blondes
Why do blondes like lightning?
They think someone is taking their picture.
2>They think someone is taking their picture.
Politicians
To change a light bulb, how many politicians are needed?
Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.
2>Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.
Waiters
Waiter: And what will you have to follow your main course, sir?
Diner: Most likely indigestion.
2>Diner: Most likely indigestion.
Journalists
Old journalists never die; they just get depressed.
2>Having A Bad Day
You know you're having a bad day when - Everyone is laughing but you.
2>Ghosts
When do ghosts like to play tricks on each other?
On April Ghoul's Day.
2>On April Ghoul's Day.
Snowmen
What do you call a snowman in the summertime?
A puddle!
2>A puddle!
Work
The reward for a job well done: more work.
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