Home / Joke Topics Index / Joke Topics - S / Joke Topic - Software - 1

Joke Topic - 'Software'


Here are 5 jokes on the topic - 'Software'.

$text4

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
$text4

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.
$text4

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We'll document it in the manual."
$text4

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
$text4

Software Development Cycle

Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

$text4

Shellfish

Why did the shellfish go to the gym?
To build up it's mussels.
$text4

Calendar

Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He was sentenced to 12 months in jail they say his days are numbered.
$text4

Ghosts

Did you hear about the musical ghost? He wrote haunting melodies.
$text4

Laryngitis

What do you call a veterinary surgeon with laryngitis?
A hoarse doctor.
$text4

Aliens

"And this is the sound the aliens made..." (BEEP!)
$text4

Movies

Did you hear about the new movie in which a beautiful girl falls in love with a very ugly loaf of bread?
It's called Beauty and the yeast.
$text4

Cookies

Why did the cookie visit a doctor?
Because he felt crummy.
$text4

Windows

Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
$text4

Revenge

How do you get your revenge on a doctor?
Give him a taste of his own medicine.

This is page 1 of 1