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Joke Topic - 'Software'
Here are 5 jokes on the topic - 'Software'.
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.
Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We'll document it in the manual."
None. "We'll document it in the manual."
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Software Development Cycle
Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.
1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Dog
Mum, can I please have a dog for Christmas?
No, you will have turkey like everyone else!
No, you will have turkey like everyone else!
Bees
What kind of bees live in a graveyard?
Zombees.
Zombees.
Billiards
Acoustic: Instrument used in billiards!
Children
It's true that children brighten up a home.
They never turn off the lights.
They never turn off the lights.
Marriage
When Marriage is Outlawed,
Only Outlaws will have Inlaws.
Only Outlaws will have Inlaws.
Elephants
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Maths
Why was the maths book looking so sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Because it had so many problems.
Executive
He is a born executive . . . his father owns the business.
Caterpillar
What does a caterpillar do every 1st of January?
He turns over a new leaf.
He turns over a new leaf.
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