Home / Joke Topics Index / Joke Topics - S / Joke Topic - Software - 1

Joke Topic - 'Software'


Here are 5 jokes on the topic - 'Software'.

$text4

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
$text4

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.
$text4

How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. "We'll document it in the manual."
$text4

My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
$text4

Software Development Cycle

Software doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program shrink-wrapped inside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5. See 3.
6. See 4.
7. See 5.
8. See 6.
9. See 7.
10. See 8.
11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely premature product announcement based on an overly optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12. Users find 137 new bugs.
13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.


Here are some randomly selected joke topics

$text4

Drunks

I'm not a steady drinker - my hand shakes too much.
$text4

Witch

How do you make a witch itch?
Take away the "w".
$text4

Bird

Why was the bird wearing a wig?
Because it was a bald eagle.
$text4

Enthusiasm

Diner: Waiter, why do you call this Enthusiasm stew?
Waiter: Because the chef has put everything she's got into it.
$text4

Currents

He's a few currents short of a fruit cake.
$text4

Knock Knock

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Doris
Doris who?
Doris open.
Come on in!
$text4

Idiot

Did you hear about the idiot who planted pennies in his garden?
He wanted to raise some hard cash.
$text4

Deer

What do you get if you teach a deer to be a hairdresser?
A styling mousse.
$text4

Workers

In the twelfth century how many workers did it take to change a light bulb?
None. There were no light bulbs - it was the dark ages.

This is page 1 of 1