Fred: I want to marry a smart woman, a good woman, a
woman who'll make me happy.
George: Well, you'll have to make up your mind which one of those you want.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Skeletons
Why are skeletons always so calm?
Nothing can get under their skin.
Swiss
How do you make a Swiss roll?
Push him off the mountain.
Human
To err is human to really foul things up requires a computer.
Sheep
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
To the baa-baa shop.
Minimum
What is the opposite of minimum?
Minidad.
Snore
Why is it the loudest snorer is always the first one to get to sleep?
Knock Knock
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabbit.
Rabbit who?
Rabbit very carefully, it's a Christmas present!
Mother Superior
And which really horrible Mother Superior went all over Europe beating people up?
Attila the Nun.
School
My parents sent me to boarding school so that they wouldn't have to help me with my homework.