Fred: I want to marry a smart woman, a good woman, a
woman who'll make me happy.
George: Well, you'll have to make up your mind which one of those you want.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Parties
What do you call a party held in a basement?
A cellar-bration.
Policeman
What did the policeman say to his belly-button?
You're under a vest.
Dancing
Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing?
He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
Scottish
A Scottish gift: "It's nae use to me, ye're welcome to it."
Henry VIII
King Henry VIII went to heaven. St Peter said, 'Tell me, why did you have so many different wives?'
Henry said, 'I like to' chop and change.'
Astronauts
What does an astronaut use to keep up his trousers?
An asteroid belt.
Ventriloquists
How many VENTRILOQUISTS does it take to change a light-bulb?
Two. One to change the gulg and one to gold the gottom of the lagger.
Waiters
Waiter, waiter, this food is terrible. Bring me the manager.
I'm sorry, sir. He won't eat it either.
Talk
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.