Doors
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Emmett.
Emmett who?
Emmett the front door, not the back one.
Snowmen
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
Birthdays
For weeks I've been telling you not to buy anything for my birthday and yet you still forgot to bring me something.
Cows
What do you call it when cows fight a battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Chickens
What do you get if you cross a chicken with a skunk?
A fowl smell.
Apples
How do you make an apple puff?
You chase it around the kitchen.
Frogs
What did one frog say to the other?
Time's sure fun when you're having flies.
Magicians
He's a magician. He can turn absolutely anything into an argument.
Lawyers
Where there's a will, there's a happy Lawyer!