Reincarnation
Did you hear about the lawyer who believed in reincarnation? He left everything to himself in his will.
Dogs
'Why is your dog growling at me like that?' asked Brian.
'0h,' said Billy, 'He's probably just angry because you're using his dish.'
Waiters
Waiter, waiter, do you have frogs' legs?'
'Yes, sir.'
'Well, hop over the counter and get me a sandwich.'
Birds
Does your pet bird ever wonder why you're sitting there, staring at the carpeting, when you're reading the newspaper?
Apes
Which large ape is very smelly?
King Pong.
Love
Jesus loves you, but most people think you are an idiot.
Whales
Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide.
Flies
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry - he won't drink much.
Fishing
Do you like fly fishing?
No, I prefer to catch fish.