Two little East End kids were paddling in the sea at Southend. 'Cor,' said one, 'look at your feet. They ain't half dirty.'
'Well, we didn't have no 'oliday last year.'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Skeletons
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
Christmas
What is a hairdressers favourite Christmas carol?
"Oh comb all ye faithful".
Elephants
How do you stop an elephant from charging?
Take away his credit cards.
Telepathy
Legalize telepathy - I knew you were going to say that
Friendship
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Ruthless
The murderer certainly was ruthless when he committed the crime!
How do you know that?
Because Ruth was with me.
Intelligent
Did you hear about the very intelligent monster?
He was called Frank Einstein.
Blondes
Q: What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair black?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Snakes
Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous?
Mother snake: Yes honey, but why do you want to know?
Baby snake: Well, I just bit my tongue...