Horses
Did you hear about the horse who became depressed?
He started telling tales of whoa.
Idiots
Why did the idiot put on wet trousers?
Because the label said 'wash and wear.'
Doctors
Doctor, doctor! I feel like a sheep.
That's baaaaaad.
Dogs
What did the dog say when he sat on a piece of sandpaper?
Ruff.
Bachelors
How do you scare a confirmed bachelor?
Sneak up behind him and throw confetti.
Policemen
Where do policemen live?
999 Letsbe Avenue.
Blondes
How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.
Chaos
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Ducks
What has webbed feet and fangs?
Count Quackula.