Joke Topic - 'Quasimodo'

Patient: Doctor, what is the best way to prevent diseases which are caused by biting insects?
Doctor: Don't bite any.

What do you get if you cross a successful book with perfume.
A best smeller.

'Waiter! There's a fly in my alphabet soup!'
I expect it's learning to read, sir.'

Work is the curse of the drinking class.

Some women get even with their husbands by staying married to them.

My wife went to the beauty parlor and had a mud pack treatment. She looked really great for a few days. . .but then the mud fell off!

Why did the witch buy a computer?
She needed a spell checker.

It's tough being a politician. Half your reputation is ruined by lies the other half is ruined by the truth!

How many tourists does it take to change a light bulb?
Six. One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions.