Once there lived a family of very snobbish King Edward potatoes. The daughter of the family had just celebrated her eighteenth birthday and her parents decided that it was time for them to find a suitable match for her. They suggested all the eligible young bachelor potatoes but no name seemed to satisfy their wilful daughter. Finally in desperation her mother asked her daughter who she would like to be her husband.
The daughter thought for a moment and then said: 'David Coleman.'
'But, my dear,' said her mother in a shocked voice, 'you can't marry David Coleman. After all, he's only a common rater!'
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Deer
What do you get if you teach a deer to be a hairdresser?
A styling mousse.
Mosquito
What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a knight of the round table?
A bite in shining armour.
Waiters
Waiter, Waiter.
There's a fly in my soup.
Don't worry sir, they don't drink much.
Ghosts
What is a ghost's favorite type of bird?
A scare-crow.
Doctors
Doctor, doctor, I keep losing my memory.
When did you first notice it?
When did I first notice what?
Journalists
Old journalists never die, they just get de-pressed.
Cricket
My sister fell in love with a famous cricket player.
She was completely bowled over by him.
London
Ten year old's reply to `what famous London landmark has a figure with only one eye?': 'Cleopatra's needle.'
Cowboys
Did you hear about this cowboy whose dog fell over a cliff?
He said, 'Dawg gone.'