Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a goat.
And how long has this been going on?
Oh, ever since I was a kid.
Here are some randomly selected joke topics
Christmas Trees
Why are Christmas trees just like bad knitters?
They both drop their needles.
Football
What do they use to serve lunch to football players?
The Soup—er Bowl.
Bakers
Why did the baker work overtime?
Because he kneaded the dough.
Parrots
What do you get if you cross a very talkative parrot with an ape?
A blab-boon.
Pigs
How does a pig write home?
With a pig pen.
Waiters
Waiter, Waiter.
I'd like a glass of beer and a piece of fish.
Fillet?
Yes - right to the top.
Railway
Please don't cross the railway lines, they take hours to unravel
Knocking
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Ooze.
Ooze who?
Ooze that knocking at my door?
Car Driver
Did you hear about the stupid car driver who always drove his car in reverse?
He said it was because he knew the town backwards.