Robbery
What do you call a Teletubby who's been robbed?
A tubby
Polar Bears
Did you hear about the polar bear who tried to eat a penguin?
He couldn't get the wrapper off.
Politics
The politician's campaign speech was praised by a voter, who said: I admire the straightforward way you dodged all the issues.
Lumberjacks
I used to be a lumberjack, but then I got the axe.
Doctors
Doctor, Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.
Next, please.
Doctors
Patient: Doctor, doctor. I keep thinking I'm a comedian.
Doctor: You must be joking.
Vampires
What did the vampire say when he called the blood bank?
Do you do home deliveries?
Cookies
What did the cookie say when it saw two friends being crushed?
Oh Crumbs!
Court
Always remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to twelve people who weren't smart enough to avoid jury duty!